This morning Tom & I started by making sure we believed Mom understood what we were saying. She would make definite efforts to close her eyes, when she wanted to answer yes. Yes she knew our names. Yes she remembered Dad. We told her that Dad had not made it through the accident & he was watching over her. She could only grimace her pain. She tried to remove the ventilator tubes by pushing them out with her tongue. She had tried so hard to ask us last night about Dad. We all felt she wanted to ask. That was why we discussed & decided to tell her. It was not fair to her that she be left not knowing.

Later in the day we talked to her about the arrangements we had been taking care of for Dad. We belive she understands & we are trying to help her grieve. We also asked if she wanted to stay with us or to go to Dad. While she expressed her desire to be left to return to Dad, we learned this is no longer an option for her.

Seeing Mom was much more of a shock for our families than we had anticipated. But this afternoon, they each chose to spend time with her. She looks so much better to Tom & I. She watches us, although we have to make sure we stand directly in her eyesight. Don't know how much she can see without her glasses. She moves her head to look for us. She has so far to go.

So now we shift gears. We no longer face the challenge of wondering if our Mom will survive or leave us. We no longer worry about whether we make plans for her departure from our presence, or settling her future for financial security. We no longer worry about telling her that Dad is either waiting for her, or watching over her. These decisions are now behind us. Now we must make sure her homes are accessible to her in whatever her capacity may be. Now we make arrangements for a rehabilitation center. Now we marshal all our energy into helping her improve in a positive manner.

Several hours after arriving at Mom's bedside, we found the opportunity to look at the list of Mom's visitors. Along with family, have come friends, or friends of friends. We say thanks to each for visiting. While each visit is important to us, it was the list of names on Mom's ambulance transportation team that warmed our hearts. Dedication & caring.

For now, we are tired. We will contact you more, as we are able. This is pretty stressful & time consuming. I will try to write more tomorrow. I am falling asleep while I write. ~ Val & Tom