It is amazing how much change can occur when so little change
has actually taken place. Perhaps it could be summarized better by
explaining that little sleep has occurred - for either Mom or I.
"I gotta get out of here." Those were the first words
Mom said to me. Then she asked where she was.
Actually Mom slept most of the day yesterday. When she
woke up in the afternoon, it was as though she'd woken up for the first time
since the accident. She seems to be familiar with all the characters in
her life, but not how they connect. She remembers yesterday & today,
but not time. She asked where Termite is. When I was 11, Dad found
Termite -- a Chihuahua/wire hair terrier pup trying desperately to avoid being
hit in the middle of a blizzard in the middle of Randall Ave. Termite went
to doggie heaven when Shaun was 11 months old. Soon after asking about
Termite, Mom asked about LT. I reminded her she had left him at my house,
& told her she didn't need to worry about him. She didn't look like
she could handle any more information than that.
The nurses suggested ICU psychosis, which is fairly common
& equally as temporary. She might be over it tomorrow, or it might
linger until she goes to rehab. While reading about this psychosis shows
tendencies toward violent behavior, I would say Mom's is defiantly restricted to
disorientation in time & place.
She remembers most of her family members, but not always how
she is related to them. She asked about Tyler. She asked about Dad's
doctor, Mona. She asked who had been riding with her (Dad). She
asked how long she had been here. When she asked what happened, I could
not stop from crying, as I told her a 16-year-old had passed in a
no-passing-zone, & had hit them head on. (I couldn't say more than
that & I don't believe she could have processed more than that.)
Perhaps because I was crying, she asked if that was bad. She accepts what
I tell her. She processes it, but does not attach emotion to it. Her
face shows none of the expressions we have watched for two weeks, with the
exception of a near happy contentment, when I showed her pictures of her
family.
When she became tired, she asked where she could sleep.
I told her she'd been sleeping in the same spot for 4 weeks. She was
surprised, but said ok & said she needed a nap. She didn't fall asleep
for several hours after that. I eventually closed the curtain & shut
off all the lights to help shut down stimulation, none of which has been needed
before this. She didn't sleep until she was given Benadryl for her rash,
& then only for a couple hours.
Today she was doing ok, although she appeared to be
tiring. She's had nothing to eat or drink since the tubes came out
yesterday morning. They have to wait for a swallow evaluation. She
gets that whenever they are able to fit her in (there are only two speech
therapists in the hospital & they have 900 beds). She must be awake
& able to follow commands to have the swallow evaluation. No Benadryl
until after the evaluation.
Her throat is dry & it is difficult for her to force out
the air that she tries to form into speech. While I tell you of all the
conversations we have carried on, each comes with an intense amount of work on
both our parts for me to understand what she is saying. She wants a drink
of water or some ice cream. I finally bought a Louis L'Amour book we'd
both read before. I told her I wanted her to not think of all the things
that were bothering her, so I was going to distract her by reading to her &
she wasn't going to try to talk. She didn't even argue. We are on
Chapter 10. When I leave, I will have to leave the book for someone else
to pick up where I left off & finish the story with her.
Shortly after her dialysis was over this morning, she began
breathing 50 times a minute. 20 is good. 10 is what the ventilator
did for her. A noisy rattle came from her with each breath. Her
blood pressure began to fall & the machine began to sound the alarm.
After trying to suction her lungs several times, the Respiratory Therapist
finally got the offending fluid off Mom's lungs, but the process left Mom
exhausted & on a non-invasive breathing aid. She has another machine
beside her bed & a mask on her face. But she has slept for over an
hour so far, & the breathing aid is temporary. Unfortunately, the
speech therapist showed up during the height of Mom's breathing crisis, &
she lost her place in line.
Does this drama ever end? Mom doesn't deserve
this. But she is in the best care & I am grateful to have her with
us. Miracles like this don't happen every day. But for now, Mom is
waking up & I need to finish & go read to her before she goes cross-eyed
looking at that mask on her face! Thanks for yours prayers & thoughts,
& the words of care that you send ~ Val &
Tom