Note: please read the paragraph about the pictures
before downloading them.
Mom, Dad, & TJ at the Texas HOG Rally, 2004
We are driving north. Last night we were very tired,
& were unable to write all we had wanted to share. We are taking
advantage of the driving time to start today's update.
When we had talked to Trooper Fugate, the investigating officer, we were
comforted with part of the finding of the accident reconstruction. Dad did
everything he could possibly have done, & he did it perfectly.
However, there was nothing he could have done to prevent the accident once the
pickup pulled into his lane. Trooper Fugate did say he believed the girl
did not realize she had reached the point exactly where the two lane goes to a
four lane. He feels she thought she was passing in a four-lane
situation.
There were many things we had hoped to accomplish today,
including a visit to Mom's Church, and a stop by the fort our folks
volunteered at, as well as meeting up with family, friends, &
neighbors. But we really felt an urgent need to return to Mom in
Tulsa. We packed the few things into the truck that we thought would be
necessary to care for Mom before our next trip south.
As a tribute to our parents and a healing power for us, we took their bikes
out for a ride, to see just what it was about this country that our parents have
loved so much. It was a very short ride that we wish could have been
longer, much like our time with Dad.
In a small town we suddenly saw a parking lot full of bikes,
gathered for a Toy Run. We stopped and asked around to see if there were
any Cut-N-Shoot members around. This is the HOG Chapter that Mom & Dad
had joined a few years ago, and thourghly enjoyed. We had stolen some
photographs from the walls of the house, to share with Mom's nurses, so we could
say, "This is who our mother is." We showed these
pictures to a few people, but no one had seen them before. We were
disappointed to not meet anyone that had known them. We saw a woman with a
Prayer Chapter on her jacket. She listened to our story & said a
prayer with us. We don't know what town it was, but the only
identification we saw was a police bike bearing the words "Morgan's
Point." I think that sounds familiar, as if I've seen an ABC picture
from there.
We knew that if Mom & Dad had known of this ride,
they would have been there, and it was somewhat healing for us to watch
the procession leave the parking lot before we headed north.
12/4/06 2:15 Tulsa Time
Due to low computer battery & navigational needs, we were unable
to finish yesterday. We drove straight from Mom's place to Winnsburo,
connecting with Dad's employer, Taylor Gas. We then loaded the van on a
trailer & headed to Atoka. We stopped by the hospital & picked up
his Gerber machine-shop-on-your-belt. We then talked to the
nurse that had been with Dad in the last moments of his life. We talked to
her for a long time about the man Dad was, and the life he'd had with Mom.
We then left to visit the accident scene. We found it by the leftover
refuse. The moon must have been full, because we were clearly able to see
the torn up ground & several auto parts: filters, hubcaps, etc. We did
not find anything we knew to have belonged to our parents. There was a
small bottle of hand lotion, but if it was Mom's, it would have been a gift from
Morgan or Deb. We searched for something, but we didn't know what.
If we wanted to see Mom, we needed to roll.
When we got lost in Paris, we decided we'd better sleep. When we woke
up, the computer & lots of cussing found the route. But it was still
nearly 9 when we arrived at the hospital.
Mom's face looks better...not as swollen. We are supposed to
meet with Dr. Katsis(?) sometime soon. We have talked to the neurologist
and he said that the two cracked vertebras soul be ok and he sees no
sign of brain damage.
Doctor Gold her kidney specialists fills that if mom can heal from rest of
her injuries her kidneys may be fine. I only hope that news like this
doesn't raise false hope. She is under going dialysis.
Mom has been placed into a Chemically induced paralysis. Immobile, she has
a better chance of healing. She isn't even making tears, due to the
paralysis, so medication is being put on her eyes, which sometimes makes it
appear that her eyes are watering. The machines that keep her with us,
allow her organs to begin healing themselves. She will eventually come off
of all machines.
Mom raised Tom & I to be Catholic. While neither of us is active
in our religion, we both agree that what Mom taught us is ingrained. We
struggle to remember the words to the prayers, but we're pretty sure that both
God & Mom will forgive us for mistakes we make while trying. Aunt
Barbara told us that Mom's favorite prayer is St. Francis of
Assissi. We have obtained a copy of the prayer, & have prayed with
her. We have prayed the Rosary, & some others that were in her prayer
book, found when we acquired her purse from the ground beside the car (I guess
that everyone assumed that when we said purse, we were looking for a purse --
not a miniature backpack).
Mom has been receiving Patient Greetings from the St. Francis
website. We date them, read them to her, and are saving them for
her. Thank you for this kindness.
Once more we would like to thank Mom's nursing staff. They have been
excellent. They are easy to approach & they talk to us about what Mom
is going through. Today we spoke with (I think) all her Drs & it
appears as though she is stable enough for the time being. She will remain
with her current paralysis for several more days. Tom & I will be
taking the opportunity to return home. Should there be any change, we will
try to be here within 24 hours. After last weeks extreme circumstances, we
are hesitate to commit to anything that requires preplanning.
I apologize for taking so long getting this email out. We are not
trying to leave anyone out, or shrug you off. We've been pretty busy most
moments of the last several days. On top of that, I am computer illiterate
& it took HOURS to figure out how to get online through the wireless network
here at the Hospital.
We are attaching 3 pictures of Mom. She has tubes in her mouth, &
the tape is pulling her skin. Her face is not misshapen. But
we didn't want to surprise anybody by having the pictures imbedded in the
email. Her right eye has the residue of mascara coming off due to the
medication they are putting on her eyes. If any of you tells her I sent
you pictures of what she looks like without makeup & her hair combed, I'll
flat out deny it!
During our time in Bittburg, Germany, Mom took up ceramics. She
painted a Nativity scene. The pieces were the same as those seen in the
Cafeteria. We will be putting out Mom's Nativity Scene when we get
home.
We will have to leave the care of Mom's social life to those
that are available to visit her, at least for the time being. If you do
come visit, Tom & I have set some guidelines & ask that visitors stop at
the nurses station first. Remember, she DOESN'T know about Dad. Give
her a chance to heal ... Don't take her from us by letting it slip that Dad
& TJ are gone.
We continue to ask for your prayers for Mom ~ Tom &
Val